In March/April 2010, something clicked and after months and months of being sad about how “chubby” I had gotten, I realized how disconnected I had become with my body. I wasn’t listening to what it was telling me or craving, and I was putting it through hell. At that point, I was working at least 9 hours a day, if not more and then coming home to a pile of homework and housework.
When I first started back to school the first thing I did was cut down on sleep, which was the exact opposite of what my body needed. I became more and more anxious and irritable (my poor husband!) and to make matters worse because my body and mind were beyond exhausted I started skipping more and more work outs. I was completely burnt out and not taking care of myself and the pounds just started packing on. Although, I was still eating relatively healthfully my portions started getting bigger and bigger which I think was due to stress and lack of energy.
After about a year and half of this pattern, I had put on about 3o lbs but worse I had completely lost sight of m self. I loved cooking, working out, sleeping and generally being good myself.
*This is probably the only time I will talk in numbers, I am much more concerned with getting my strength and confidence back, fitting into my clothes again and re-learning to listen to my body.
Originally, my goal was to try to get back to my “happy” weight and previous fitness level before my week-long beach vacation in August 2010. As much as I would love to reach that goal, it might not be realistic and I don’t want to this journey to be negated by a short-term goal or any quick fix. It took me over a year to lose touch with my body and to put on this weight and it will take a long time get reach my fitness goals again. I don’t want this to be a quick fix, because I’m hoping that through this journey, I will find that skills to help me maintain the balance in my life for good.